As I'm writing out my solution for this, I'm almost wondering if it's
time for the refactor I've been Theoretically Planning Someday, to move
items to a real `ItemAppearance` model in the database similar to
`PetState`… Hmm hmm hmm…
For now though, I'm taking a break!
Not actually touching alt style yet, just the very basic stuff about
how alt style can cause loading to fail in certain extremely rare cases
(specifically, if it's our first time seeing the underlying
color/species combo too, which… isn't gonna happen irl on DTI for a long
time if ever, I would guess, but hey!)