Note that these queries are a bit slow. I don't think these new subpages will be accessed anywhere near often enough for their ~2sec query time to be a big deal. But if we start getting into trouble with it (e.g. someone starts slamming us for fun), we can look into how how cache these values over time.
This required a buncha fixes to how SASS scoping works! Needed to add a bunch of imports for stuff that previously would get read from the global scope by being imported *after* the constants and mixins etc.
There's clearly a lot of refactor opportunity here, but I'm not gonna worry about it!!
