diff --git a/app/controllers/item_zone_sets_controller.rb b/app/controllers/item_zone_sets_controller.rb
index cbfcdabb..92282c02 100644
--- a/app/controllers/item_zone_sets_controller.rb
+++ b/app/controllers/item_zone_sets_controller.rb
@@ -1,7 +1,5 @@
 class ItemZoneSetsController < ApplicationController
-  caches_page :index
-  
   def index
-    render :json => Zone::ItemZoneSets.keys.sort.as_json
+    render :json => Zone.all_plain_labels
   end
 end
diff --git a/app/controllers/items_controller.rb b/app/controllers/items_controller.rb
index 9a6e2908..519e096c 100644
--- a/app/controllers/items_controller.rb
+++ b/app/controllers/items_controller.rb
@@ -45,6 +45,15 @@ class ItemsController < ApplicationController
 
     respond_to do |format|
       format.html do
+        unless localized_fragment_exist?("items/#{@item.id} info")
+          @occupied_zones = @item.occupied_zones(
+            :scope => Zone.includes_translations.alphabetical
+          )
+          @restricted_zones = @item.restricted_zones(
+            :scope => Zone.includes_translations.alphabetical
+          )
+        end
+        
         unless localized_fragment_exist?("items/#{@item.id} contributors")
           @contributors_with_counts = @item.contributors_with_counts
         end
diff --git a/app/controllers/swf_assets_controller.rb b/app/controllers/swf_assets_controller.rb
index 8ce7c9f3..0af82690 100644
--- a/app/controllers/swf_assets_controller.rb
+++ b/app/controllers/swf_assets_controller.rb
@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@ class SwfAssetsController < ApplicationController
   def index
     if params[:item_id]
       item = Item.find(params[:item_id])
-      @swf_assets = item.swf_assets
+      @swf_assets = item.swf_assets.includes_depth
       if params[:body_id]
         @swf_assets = @swf_assets.fitting_body_id(params[:body_id])
       else
@@ -16,29 +16,31 @@ class SwfAssetsController < ApplicationController
     elsif params[:pet_type_id] && params[:item_ids]
       pet_type = PetType.find(params[:pet_type_id], :select => [:body_id, :species_id])
       
-      @swf_assets = SwfAsset.object_assets.
+      @swf_assets = SwfAsset.object_assets.includes_depth.
         fitting_body_id(pet_type.body_id).
         for_item_ids(params[:item_ids]).
         with_parent_ids
       json = @swf_assets.map { |a| a.as_json(:parent_id => a.parent_id.to_i, :for => 'wardrobe') }
     elsif params[:pet_state_id]
-      @swf_assets = PetState.find(params[:pet_state_id]).swf_assets.all
+      @swf_assets = PetState.find(params[:pet_state_id]).swf_assets.
+        includes_depth.all
       pet_state_id = params[:pet_state_id].to_i
       json = @swf_assets.map { |a| a.as_json(:parent_id => pet_state_id, :for => 'wardrobe') }
     elsif params[:pet_type_id]
-      @swf_assets = PetType.find(params[:pet_type_id]).pet_states.emotion_order.first.swf_assets
+      @swf_assets = PetType.find(params[:pet_type_id]).pet_states.emotion_order
+        .first.swf_assets.includes_depth
     elsif params[:ids]
       @swf_assets = []
       if params[:ids][:biology]
-        @swf_assets += SwfAsset.biology_assets.where(:remote_id => params[:ids][:biology]).all
+        @swf_assets += SwfAsset.includes_depth.biology_assets.where(:remote_id => params[:ids][:biology]).all
       end
       if params[:ids][:object]
-        @swf_assets += SwfAsset.object_assets.where(:remote_id => params[:ids][:object]).all
+        @swf_assets += SwfAsset.includes_depth.object_assets.where(:remote_id => params[:ids][:object]).all
       end
     elsif params[:body_id] && params[:item_ids]
       # DEPRECATED in favor of pet_type_id and item_ids
       swf_assets = SwfAsset.arel_table
-      @swf_assets = SwfAsset.object_assets.
+      @swf_assets = SwfAsset.includes_depth.object_assets.
         select('swf_assets.*, parents_swf_assets.parent_id').
         fitting_body_id(params[:body_id]).
         for_item_ids(params[:item_ids])
diff --git a/app/helpers/items_helper.rb b/app/helpers/items_helper.rb
index 72afaf2e..e7343564 100644
--- a/app/helpers/items_helper.rb
+++ b/app/helpers/items_helper.rb
@@ -73,7 +73,7 @@ module ItemsHelper
   end
 
   def list_zones(zones, method=:label)
-    zones.sort { |x,y| x.label <=> y.label }.map(&method).join(', ')
+    zones.map(&method).join(', ')
   end
   
   def nc_icon
@@ -125,7 +125,8 @@ module ItemsHelper
   def build_on_pet_types(species, special_color=nil, &block)
     species_ids = species.map(&:id)
     pet_types = special_color ?
-      PetType.where(:color_id => special_color.id, :species_id => species_ids).order(:species_id) :
+      PetType.where(:color_id => special_color.id, :species_id => species_ids).
+        order(:species_id).includes_child_translations :
       PetType.random_basic_per_species(species.map(&:id))
     pet_types.map(&block).join.html_safe
   end
diff --git a/app/models/item.rb b/app/models/item.rb
index 762d5211..404b1028 100644
--- a/app/models/item.rb
+++ b/app/models/item.rb
@@ -110,25 +110,27 @@ class Item < ActiveRecord::Base
     @wanted
   end
 
-  def restricted_zones
-    unless @restricted_zones
-      @restricted_zones = []
-      zones_restrict.split(//).each_with_index do |switch, id|
-        @restricted_zones << Zone.find(id.to_i + 1) if switch == '1'
-      end
-    end
-    @restricted_zones
+  def restricted_zones(options={})
+    options[:scope] ||= Zone.scoped
+    options[:scope].find(restricted_zone_ids)
   end
   
   def restricted_zone_ids
-    restricted_zones.map(&:id)
+    unless @restricted_zone_ids
+      @restricted_zone_ids = []
+      zones_restrict.split(//).each_with_index do |switch, id|
+        @restricted_zone_ids << (id.to_i + 1) if switch == '1'
+      end
+    end
+    @restricted_zone_ids
   end
   
   def occupied_zone_ids
     occupied_zones.map(&:id)
   end
 
-  def occupied_zones
+  def occupied_zones(options={})
+    options[:scope] ||= Zone.scoped
     all_body_ids = []
     zone_body_ids = {}
     selected_assets = swf_assets.select('body_id, zone_id').each do |swf_asset|
@@ -137,12 +139,11 @@ class Item < ActiveRecord::Base
       body_ids << swf_asset.body_id unless body_ids.include?(swf_asset.body_id)
       all_body_ids << swf_asset.body_id unless all_body_ids.include?(swf_asset.body_id)
     end
-    zones = []
+    zones = options[:scope].find(zone_body_ids.keys)
+    zones_by_id = zones.inject({}) { |h, z| h[z.id] = z; h }
     total_body_ids = all_body_ids.size
     zone_body_ids.each do |zone_id, body_ids|
-      zone = Zone.find(zone_id)
-      zone.sometimes = true if body_ids.size < total_body_ids
-      zones << zone
+      zones_by_id[zone_id].sometimes = true if body_ids.size < total_body_ids
     end
     zones
   end
diff --git a/app/models/item/search/query.rb b/app/models/item/search/query.rb
index dca74fdc..88f8bd80 100644
--- a/app/models/item/search/query.rb
+++ b/app/models/item/search/query.rb
@@ -90,8 +90,8 @@ class Item
           end
           species.id
         },
-        :zone => lambda { |name|
-          zone_set = Zone.find_set(name)
+        :zone => lambda { |label|
+          zone_set = Zone.with_plain_label(label)
           unless zone_set
             Item::Search.error 'not_found.zone', :zone_name => name
           end
diff --git a/app/models/outfit.rb b/app/models/outfit.rb
index c2c2cbba..76ddf1ea 100644
--- a/app/models/outfit.rb
+++ b/app/models/outfit.rb
@@ -84,7 +84,7 @@ class Outfit < ActiveRecord::Base
   # ordered from bottom to top. Careful: this method is memoized, so if the
   # image layers change after its first call we'll get bad results.
   def image_layers
-    @image_layers ||= visible_assets_with_images.sort { |a, b| a.zone.depth <=> b.zone.depth }
+    @image_layers ||= visible_assets_with_images.sort { |a, b| a.depth <=> b.depth }
   end
   
   # Creates and writes the thumbnail images for this outfit iff the new image
@@ -177,9 +177,10 @@ class Outfit < ActiveRecord::Base
   end
   
   def visible_assets
-    biology_assets = pet_state.swf_assets
+    biology_assets = pet_state.swf_assets.includes(:zone)
     object_assets = SwfAsset.object_assets.
-      fitting_body_id(pet_state.pet_type.body_id).for_item_ids(worn_item_ids)
+      fitting_body_id(pet_state.pet_type.body_id).for_item_ids(worn_item_ids).
+      includes(:zone)
     
     # Now for fun with bitmasks! Rather than building a bunch of integer arrays
     # here, we instead go low-level and use bit-level operations. Build the
diff --git a/app/models/pet_type.rb b/app/models/pet_type.rb
index f34aa7ca..66f679f1 100644
--- a/app/models/pet_type.rb
+++ b/app/models/pet_type.rb
@@ -19,8 +19,12 @@ class PetType < ActiveRecord::Base
 
   scope :nonstandard_colors, lambda { where(:color_id => Color.nonstandard) }
   
+  scope :includes_child_translations,
+    lambda { includes({:color => :translations, :species => :translations}) }
+  
   def self.standard_pet_types_by_species_id
-    PetType.where(:color_id => Color.basic).group_by(&:species_id)
+    PetType.where(:color_id => Color.basic).includes_child_translations.
+      group_by(&:species_id)
   end
   
   def self.standard_body_ids
@@ -33,8 +37,9 @@ class PetType < ActiveRecord::Base
 
   def self.random_basic_per_species(species_ids)
     random_pet_types = []
+    standards = self.standard_pet_types_by_species_id
     species_ids.each do |species_id|
-      pet_types = standard_pet_types_by_species_id[species_id]
+      pet_types = standards[species_id]
       random_pet_types << pet_types[rand(pet_types.size)] if pet_types
     end
     random_pet_types
diff --git a/app/models/swf_asset.rb b/app/models/swf_asset.rb
index f5814a45..8b8e1f9c 100644
--- a/app/models/swf_asset.rb
+++ b/app/models/swf_asset.rb
@@ -23,6 +23,10 @@ class SwfAsset < ActiveRecord::Base
 
   include SwfConverter
   converts_swfs :size => IMAGE_SIZES[:large], :output_sizes => IMAGE_SIZES.values
+  
+  belongs_to :zone
+  
+  scope :includes_depth, lambda { includes(:zone) }
 
   def local_swf_path
     LOCAL_ASSET_DIR.join(local_path_within_outfit_swfs)
@@ -200,10 +204,6 @@ class SwfAsset < ActiveRecord::Base
     self.zone.type_id < 3 || (@item && @item.body_specific?)
   end
 
-  def zone
-    Zone.find(zone_id)
-  end
-
   def origin_pet_type=(pet_type)
     self.body_id = pet_type.body_id
   end
diff --git a/app/models/zone.rb b/app/models/zone.rb
index fa3bc3d8..52883f5d 100644
--- a/app/models/zone.rb
+++ b/app/models/zone.rb
@@ -1,49 +1,32 @@
-class Zone < StaticResource
-  ATTRIBUTE_NAMES = ['id', 'label', 'depth', 'type_id']
-  ZONE_SETS = {}
+class Zone < ActiveRecord::Base
+  translates :label, :plain_label
   
-  attr_reader *ATTRIBUTE_NAMES
   # When selecting zones that an asset occupies, we allow the zone to set
   # whether or not the zone is "sometimes" occupied. This is false by default.
   attr_writer :sometimes
-
-  def initialize(attributes)
-    ATTRIBUTE_NAMES.each do |name|
-      instance_variable_set "@#{name}", attributes[name]
-    end
-  end
+  
+  scope :alphabetical, lambda {
+    includes_translations.order(Zone::Translation.arel_table[:label])
+  }
+  scope :includes_translations, lambda { includes(:translations) }
+  scope :with_plain_label, lambda { |label|
+    t = Zone::Translation.arel_table
+    includes(:translations).where(t[:plain_label].eq(Zone.plainify_label(label)))
+  }
   
   def uncertain_label
     @sometimes ? "#{label} sometimes" : label
   end
   
-  def self.find_set(name)
-    ZONE_SETS[plain(name)]
+  def self.all_plain_labels
+    Zone.select([:id]).includes(:translations).all.map(&:plain_label).uniq.sort
   end
   
-  def self.plain(name)
-    name.delete('\- /').downcase
-  end
-  
-  n = 0
-  @objects = YAML.load_file(Rails.root.join('config', 'zones.yml')).map do |a|
-    a['id'] = (n += 1)
-    obj = new(a)
-    plain_name = plain(obj.label)
-    
-    ZONE_SETS[plain_name] ||= []
-    ZONE_SETS[plain_name] << obj
-    obj
-  end
-  n = nil
-  
-  # Add aliases to keys like "lowerforegrounditem" to "lowerforeground"
-  # ...unless there's already such a key, like "backgrounditem" to "background",
-  # in which case we don't, because that'd be silly.
-  ZONE_SETS.keys.each do |name|
-    if name.end_with?('item')
-      stripped_name = name[0..-5]
-      ZONE_SETS[stripped_name] ||= ZONE_SETS[name]
+  def self.plainify_label(label)
+    plain_label = label.delete('\- /').downcase
+    if plain_label.end_with?('item')
+      plain_label = plain_label[0..-5]
     end
+    plain_label
   end
 end
diff --git a/app/views/items/show.html.haml b/app/views/items/show.html.haml
index 02344e95..51610a89 100644
--- a/app/views/items/show.html.haml
+++ b/app/views/items/show.html.haml
@@ -53,13 +53,13 @@
   #item-zones
     %p
       %strong #{t '.zones.occupied_header'}:
-      = list_zones @item.occupied_zones, :uncertain_label
+      = list_zones @occupied_zones, :uncertain_label
     %p
       %strong #{t '.zones.restricted_header'}:
-      - if @item.restricted_zones.empty?
+      - if @restricted_zones.empty?
         = t '.zones.none'
       - else
-        = list_zones @item.restricted_zones
+        = list_zones @restricted_zones
 
 #trade-hangers
   - [true, false].each do |owned|
diff --git a/db/migrate/20130121221226_create_zones.rb b/db/migrate/20130121221226_create_zones.rb
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..4d7a7a79
--- /dev/null
+++ b/db/migrate/20130121221226_create_zones.rb
@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
+class CreateZones < ActiveRecord::Migration
+  def self.up
+    create_table :zones do |t|
+      t.integer :depth
+      t.integer :type_id
+    end
+    Zone.create_translation_table! :label => :string, :plain_label => :string
+  end
+
+  def self.down
+    drop_table :zones
+    Zone.drop_translation_table!
+  end
+end
diff --git a/db/schema.rb b/db/schema.rb
index 6e1d4d80..6fe68f87 100644
--- a/db/schema.rb
+++ b/db/schema.rb
@@ -11,7 +11,7 @@
 #
 # It's strongly recommended to check this file into your version control system.
 
-ActiveRecord::Schema.define(:version => 20130121205607) do
+ActiveRecord::Schema.define(:version => 20130121221226) do
 
   create_table "auth_servers", :force => true do |t|
     t.string "short_name", :limit => 10,       :null => false
@@ -286,11 +286,21 @@ ActiveRecord::Schema.define(:version => 20130121205607) do
     t.integer  "wanted_closet_hangers_visibility",               :default => 1,     :null => false
   end
 
+  create_table "zone_translations", :force => true do |t|
+    t.integer  "zone_id"
+    t.string   "locale"
+    t.string   "label"
+    t.string   "plain_label"
+    t.datetime "created_at"
+    t.datetime "updated_at"
+  end
+
+  add_index "zone_translations", ["locale"], :name => "index_zone_translations_on_locale"
+  add_index "zone_translations", ["zone_id"], :name => "index_zone_translations_on_zone_id"
+
   create_table "zones", :force => true do |t|
-    t.integer "depth",   :limit => 1,  :null => false
-    t.integer "type_id", :limit => 1,  :null => false
-    t.string  "type",    :limit => 40, :null => false
-    t.string  "label",   :limit => 40, :null => false
+    t.integer "depth"
+    t.integer "type_id"
   end
 
 end
diff --git a/db/seeds.rb b/db/seeds.rb
index 87cadcf3..c49ebbac 100644
--- a/db/seeds.rb
+++ b/db/seeds.rb
@@ -153,3 +153,56 @@ Color.create(:id => 97, :name => "elderlyboy", :basic => false, :standard => tru
 Color.create(:id => 98, :name => "elderlygirl", :basic => false, :standard => true)
 Color.create(:id => 99, :name => "stealthy", :basic => false, :standard => true)
 Color.create(:id => 100, :name => "dimensional", :basic => false, :standard => true)
+
+Zone.create(:id => 1, :label => "Music", :plain_label => "music", :depth => 1, :type_id => 4)
+Zone.create(:id => 2, :label => "Sound Effects", :plain_label => "soundeffects", :depth => 2, :type_id => 4)
+Zone.create(:id => 3, :label => "Background", :plain_label => "background", :depth => 3, :type_id => 3)
+Zone.create(:id => 4, :label => "Biology Effects", :plain_label => "biologyeffects", :depth => 6, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 5, :label => "Hind Biology", :plain_label => "hindbiology", :depth => 7, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 6, :label => "Markings", :plain_label => "markings", :depth => 8, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 7, :label => "Hind Disease", :plain_label => "hinddisease", :depth => 9, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 8, :label => "Hind Cover", :plain_label => "hindcover", :depth => 10, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 9, :label => "Hind Transient Biology", :plain_label => "hindtransientbiology", :depth => 11, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 10, :label => "Hind Drippings", :plain_label => "hinddrippings", :depth => 12, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 11, :label => "Backpack", :plain_label => "backpack", :depth => 13, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 12, :label => "Wings Transient Biology", :plain_label => "wingstransientbiology", :depth => 14, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 13, :label => "Wings", :plain_label => "wings", :depth => 15, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 14, :label => "Hair Back", :plain_label => "hairback", :depth => 17, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 15, :label => "Body", :plain_label => "body", :depth => 18, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 16, :label => "Markings", :plain_label => "markings", :depth => 19, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 17, :label => "Body Disease", :plain_label => "bodydisease", :depth => 20, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 18, :label => "Feet Transient Biology", :plain_label => "feettransientbiology", :depth => 21, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 19, :label => "Shoes", :plain_label => "shoes", :depth => 22, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 20, :label => "Lower-body Transient Biology", :plain_label => "lowerbodytransientbiology", :depth => 23, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 21, :label => "Trousers", :plain_label => "trousers", :depth => 24, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 22, :label => "Upper-body Transient Biology", :plain_label => "upperbodytransientbiology", :depth => 25, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 23, :label => "Shirt/Dress", :plain_label => "shirtdress", :depth => 26, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 24, :label => "Necklace", :plain_label => "necklace", :depth => 28, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 25, :label => "Gloves", :plain_label => "gloves", :depth => 29, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 26, :label => "Jacket", :plain_label => "jacket", :depth => 30, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 27, :label => "Collar", :plain_label => "collar", :depth => 31, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 28, :label => "Body Drippings", :plain_label => "bodydrippings", :depth => 32, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 29, :label => "Ruff", :plain_label => "ruff", :depth => 33, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 30, :label => "Head", :plain_label => "head", :depth => 34, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 31, :label => "Markings", :plain_label => "markings", :depth => 35, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 32, :label => "Head Disease", :plain_label => "headdisease", :depth => 36, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 33, :label => "Eyes", :plain_label => "eyes", :depth => 37, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 34, :label => "Mouth", :plain_label => "mouth", :depth => 38, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 35, :label => "Glasses", :plain_label => "glasses", :depth => 41, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 36, :label => "Earrings", :plain_label => "earrings", :depth => 39, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 37, :label => "Hair Front", :plain_label => "hairfront", :depth => 40, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 38, :label => "Head Transient Biology", :plain_label => "headtransientbiology", :depth => 42, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 39, :label => "Head Drippings", :plain_label => "headdrippings", :depth => 43, :type_id => 1)
+Zone.create(:id => 40, :label => "Hat", :plain_label => "hat", :depth => 44, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 41, :label => "Earrings", :plain_label => "earrings", :depth => 45, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 42, :label => "Right-hand Item", :plain_label => "righthand", :depth => 46, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 43, :label => "Left-hand Item", :plain_label => "lefthand", :depth => 47, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 44, :label => "Higher Foreground Item", :plain_label => "higherforeground", :depth => 49, :type_id => 3)
+Zone.create(:id => 45, :label => "Lower Foreground Item", :plain_label => "lowerforeground", :depth => 50, :type_id => 3)
+Zone.create(:id => 46, :label => "Static", :plain_label => "static", :depth => 48, :type_id => 3)
+Zone.create(:id => 47, :label => "Thought Bubble", :plain_label => "thoughtbubble", :depth => 51, :type_id => 3)
+Zone.create(:id => 48, :label => "Background Item", :plain_label => "background", :depth => 4, :type_id => 3)
+Zone.create(:id => 49, :label => "Right-hand Item", :plain_label => "righthand", :depth => 5, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 50, :label => "Hat", :plain_label => "hat", :depth => 16, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 51, :label => "Belt", :plain_label => "belt", :depth => 27, :type_id => 2)
+Zone.create(:id => 52, :label => "Foreground", :plain_label => "foreground", :depth => 52, :type_id => 3)