diff --git a/pages/api/allWakaValues.js b/pages/api/allWakaValues.js
index 677d61a..5894eeb 100644
--- a/pages/api/allWakaValues.js
+++ b/pages/api/allWakaValues.js
@@ -8,127 +8,15 @@ const beeline = require("honeycomb-beeline")({
   disableInstrumentationOnLoad: true,
 });
 
-import fetch from "node-fetch";
-
-import connectToDb from "../../src/server/db";
-
 async function handle(req, res) {
-  const allNcItemNamesAndIdsPromise = loadAllNcItemNamesAndIds();
-
-  let itemValuesByIdOrName;
-  try {
-    itemValuesByIdOrName = await loadWakaValuesByIdOrName();
-  } catch (e) {
-    console.error(e);
-    res.setHeader("Content-Type", "text/plain; charset=utf8");
-    res.status(500).send("Error loading Waka data from Google Sheets API");
-    return;
-  }
-
-  // Restructure the value data to use IDs as keys, instead of names.
-  const allNcItemNamesAndIds = await allNcItemNamesAndIdsPromise;
-  const itemValues = {};
-  for (const { name, id } of allNcItemNamesAndIds) {
-    if (id in itemValuesByIdOrName) {
-      itemValues[id] = itemValuesByIdOrName[id];
-    } else if (name in itemValuesByIdOrName) {
-      itemValues[id] = itemValuesByIdOrName[name];
-    }
-  }
-
-  // Cache for 1 minute, and immediately serve stale data for a day after.
-  // This should keep it fast and responsive, and stay well within our API key
-  // limits. (This will cause the client to send more requests than necessary,
-  // but the CDN cache should generally respond quickly with a small 304 Not
-  // Modified, unless the data really did change.)
-  res.setHeader(
-    "Cache-Control",
-    "public, max-age=3600, stale-while-revalidate=86400"
-  );
-  return res.send(itemValues);
-}
-
-async function loadAllNcItemNamesAndIds() {
-  const db = await connectToDb();
-
-  const [rows] = await db.query(`
-    SELECT items.id, item_translations.name FROM items
-      INNER JOIN item_translations ON item_translations.item_id = items.id
-      WHERE
-        (items.rarity_index IN (0, 500) OR is_manually_nc = 1)
-        AND item_translations.locale = "en"
-  `);
-
-  return rows.map(({ id, name }) => ({ id, name: normalizeItemName(name) }));
-}
-
-/**
- * Load all Waka values from the spreadsheet. Returns an object keyed by ID or
- * name - that is, if the item ID is provided in the sheet, we use that as the
- * key; or if not, we use the name as the key.
- */
-async function loadWakaValuesByIdOrName() {
-  if (!process.env["GOOGLE_API_KEY"]) {
-    throw new Error(`GOOGLE_API_KEY environment variable must be provided`);
-  }
-
-  const res = await fetch(
-    `https://sheets.googleapis.com/v4/spreadsheets/` +
-      `1DRMrniTSZP0sgZK6OAFFYqpmbT6xY_Ve_i480zghOX0/values/NC%20Values` +
-      `?fields=values&key=${encodeURIComponent(process.env["GOOGLE_API_KEY"])}`
-  );
-  const json = await res.json();
-
-  if (!res.ok) {
-    if (json.error) {
-      const { code, status, message } = json.error;
-      throw new Error(
-        `Google Sheets API returned error ${code} ${status}: ${message}`
-      );
-    } else {
-      throw new Error(
-        `Google Sheets API returned unexpected error: ${res.status} ${res.statusText}`
-      );
-    }
-  }
-
-  // Get the rows from the JSON response - skipping the first-row headers.
-  const rows = json.values.slice(1);
-
-  // Reformat the rows as a map from item name to value. We offer the item data
-  // as an object with a single field `value` for extensibility, but we omit
-  // the spreadsheet columns that we don't use on DTI, like Notes.
-  //
-  // NOTE: The Sheets API only returns the first non-empty cells of the row.
-  //       That's why we set `""` as the defaults, in case the value/notes/etc
-  //       aren't provided.
-  const itemValuesByIdOrName = {};
-  for (const [
-    itemName,
-    value = "",
-    unusedNotes = "",
-    unusedMarks = "",
-    itemId = "",
-  ] of rows) {
-    const normalizedItemName = normalizeItemName(itemName);
-    itemValuesByIdOrName[itemId || normalizedItemName] = { value };
-  }
-
-  return itemValuesByIdOrName;
-}
-
-function normalizeItemName(name) {
-  return (
-    name
-      // Remove all spaces, they're a common source of inconsistency
-      .replace(/\s+/g, "")
-      // Lower case, because capitalization is another common source
-      .toLowerCase()
-      // Remove diacritics: https://stackoverflow.com/a/37511463/107415
-      // Waka has some stray ones in item names, not sure why!
-      .normalize("NFD")
-      .replace(/[\u0300-\u036f]/g, "")
-  );
+  res.setHeader("Content-Type", "text/plain; charset=utf8");
+  res
+    .status(410)
+    .send(
+      "WakaGuide.com is no longer updating its values, so we no longer " +
+        "serve them from this endpoint. The most recent set of values is " +
+        "archived here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1DRMrniTSZP0sgZK6OAFFYqpmbT6xY_Ve_i480zghOX0"
+    );
 }
 
 async function handleWithBeeline(req, res) {
diff --git a/src/server/loaders.js b/src/server/loaders.js
index 1477c05..6c61e68 100644
--- a/src/server/loaders.js
+++ b/src/server/loaders.js
@@ -1,5 +1,4 @@
 import DataLoader from "dataloader";
-import fetch from "node-fetch";
 import { normalizeRow } from "./util";
 
 const buildClosetListLoader = (db) =>
@@ -795,30 +794,6 @@ const buildItemTradesLoader = (db, loaders) =>
     { cacheKeyFn: ({ itemId, isOwned }) => `${itemId}-${isOwned}` }
   );
 
-const buildItemWakaValueLoader = () =>
-  new DataLoader(async (itemIds) => {
-    // This loader calls our /api/allWakaValues endpoint, to take advantage of
-    // the CDN caching. This helps us respond a bit faster than Google Sheets
-    // API would, and avoid putting pressure on our Google Sheets API quotas.
-    // (Some kind of internal memcache or process-level cache would be a more
-    // idiomatic solution in a monolith server environment!)
-    const url = process.env.VERCEL_URL
-      ? `https://${process.env.VERCEL_URL}/api/allWakaValues`
-      : process.env.NODE_ENV === "production"
-      ? "https://impress-2020.openneo.net/api/allWakaValues"
-      : "http://localhost:3000/api/allWakaValues";
-    const res = await fetch(url);
-    if (!res.ok) {
-      throw new Error(
-        `Error loading /api/allWakaValues: ${res.status} ${res.statusText}`
-      );
-    }
-
-    const allWakaValues = await res.json();
-
-    return itemIds.map((itemId) => allWakaValues[itemId]);
-  });
-
 const buildPetTypeLoader = (db, loaders) =>
   new DataLoader(async (petTypeIds) => {
     const qs = petTypeIds.map((_) => "?").join(",");
@@ -1470,7 +1445,6 @@ function buildLoaders(db) {
     db
   );
   loaders.itemTradesLoader = buildItemTradesLoader(db, loaders);
-  loaders.itemWakaValueLoader = buildItemWakaValueLoader();
   loaders.petTypeLoader = buildPetTypeLoader(db, loaders);
   loaders.petTypeBySpeciesAndColorLoader = buildPetTypeBySpeciesAndColorLoader(
     db,
diff --git a/src/server/types/Item.js b/src/server/types/Item.js
index 1722dc9..ef6c700 100644
--- a/src/server/types/Item.js
+++ b/src/server/types/Item.js
@@ -28,9 +28,8 @@ const typeDefs = gql`
     createdAt: String
 
     """
-    This item's capsule trade value as text, according to wakaguide.com, as a
-    human-readable string. Will be null if the value is not known, or if
-    there's an error connecting to the data source.
+    Deprecated: This item's capsule trade value as text, according to
+    wakaguide.com, as a human-readable string. **This now always returns null.**
     """
     wakaValueText: String @cacheControl(maxAge: ${oneHour})
 
@@ -315,17 +314,9 @@ const resolvers = {
       const item = await itemLoader.load(id);
       return item.createdAt && item.createdAt.toISOString();
     },
-    wakaValueText: async ({ id }, _, { itemWakaValueLoader }) => {
-      let wakaValue;
-      try {
-        wakaValue = await itemWakaValueLoader.load(id);
-      } catch (e) {
-        console.error(`Error loading wakaValueText for item ${id}, skipping:`);
-        console.error(e);
-        wakaValue = null;
-      }
-
-      return wakaValue ? wakaValue.value : null;
+    wakaValueText: () => {
+      // This feature is deprecated, so now we just always return unknown value.
+      return null;
     },
 
     currentUserOwnsThis: async (